#56: New Moon

December 15, 2009

Ah, yes, the movie every female ages 10-24 and her mother has seen!

So what’s it about?: In case you live in a box, New Moon is about an extremely boring and plain human girl who has the ability to attract every guy at her school, including a sparkle fairy (aka vampire) and a perpetually shirtless shape-shifter (aka werewolf).  Chaos ensues… but mostly via the screaming girls in the audience.

The Good: This is hands down the greatest comedy of the year.  I laughed so hard it hurt and then I laughed some more.  And I’m not gonna lie, Taylor Lautner worked (out) really hard to keep his role, and it payed off.  Oh, and the special effects aren’t as laughably bad as they were in Twilight. And the soundtrack is pretty good (hey, The Killers even have a song!).

The Bad: Well, Stephanie Meyer is to classic monsters as Audrey Niffenegger is to time traveler.  But since this is a movie blog, not a book blog, I’ll leave the griping to all those readers out there.  Nevertheless, New Moon lacks the basics of any movie: acting, directing, writing.  But that’s kind of what makes it SO HILARIOUS.

The Verdict: Just like Twilight, it’s porn for preteens.  Plus, if you haven’t already seen it by now, you’re not going to, and trust me, you’re not missing anything.

One comment

  1. Finally! Someone who also thinks this movie is a big fluke. Bad direction, writing and acting. Just like you said.

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