Archive for November, 2009

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#53: 2012

November 28, 2009

Okay, so I love a good popcorn movie, so what better movie to see than a film by the popcorn master himself Roland Emmerich?

So what’s it about?: The world is coming to an end due to ensuing CGI chaos.

The Good: For a about 30 minutes in this film the world is coming apart and it is AWESOME.  And, yes, some lines are so deliciously cheesy you can’t help but enjoy it.

The Bad: This film is almost 3 hours long, and the destruction only lasts 30 minutes.  Do the math and you get a snooze fest.  There was way too much story and for anyone familiar with Roland Emmerich’s films you know that you don’t go see it for the story.  Not to mention this film contained two entirely different plot lines, one which didn’t even enter the picture till 20 minutes into the film and both which nobody really cared about.  But most importantly, this film lacked any deaths that you actually cared about which is essential to any disaster flick.  If people are going to die, you have to kill of a sympathetic character, not just the assholes!

The Verdict: If you want to see amazing special effects, wait for Avatar.  If you want a good popcorn movie, pull Independence Day off the shelf.  But unless you want to fall asleep, don’t see this movie.

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#52: Bonnie and Clyde

November 28, 2009


So what’s it about?: Bonnie and Clyde rob banks and chaos ensues.

The Good: This film is considered a classic for a reason.  It’s a good film.  The script is well written, the acting is well done, and from a cinematography stand point there were some really cool shots in this.  You could just tell the crew put a lot of thought into this film and it shows.  And it has what all good films have: a good beginning and a killer ending.

The Bad: Like I feel most older films suffer from, this movie dragged on at times from the result of its slower pacing.  And Faye Dunaway and Estelle Parsons were so annoying at times that I began to hate them both, which was definitely more the fault of the characters rather than the actresses.

The Verdict: A must see for any fan of well made films, but if you are looking for a high octane gangster movie, perhaps look for something a little newer.

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#51: American Pie Presents: Beta House

November 28, 2009

So what’s it about?: The same Stifler cousins and side kicks from Naked Mile are back for more ensuing overblown raunchy frat house chaos.

The Good: This movie is better than Naked Mile in that it’s not only funnier but it also is a little more true to the spirit of the original American Pie trilogy.   In other words, it felt like it belonged.   And it was nice to see a returning cast of characters.   Not to mention the most sexual characters were overweight in a refreshingly non-mocking way and one was female, which like never happens in raunchy teen comedies!

The Bad: Well, it is a direct-to-video movie and it has the quality of a direct-to-video movie.  Most of the plot is taken from better, funnier movies and some of the jokes just fall flat.

The Verdict: Great for a late night drunken movie in college or to hold all you GrΣΣk fans over till the new season starts.

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#50: American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile

November 26, 2009

Okay, so I figured I’d seen the first four, I might as well finish the franchise, right?

So what’s it about?: Another Stifler who just so happens to be a high school virgin gets a guilt free pass from his girlfriend as he goes visits his college cousin in time for the Naked Mile.  Oh, yeah, and chaos ensues.

The Good: Well, it’s sufficiently funny and entertaining, and for a direct-to-video movie labelled under one of the raunchiest teen comedy franchises to date it’s not half bad.  And the characters are definitely a step up from those in Band Camp (which is probably why these were brought back for film 6).  Oh, and this wins for probably the only film that depicts a little person as sexy, so props.

The Bad: Um… how many Stiflers are there?  Were the other characters just not cool enough to have a never ending supply of cousins?  And the whole thing was reused.  The characters, the plot, nothing was original.

The Verdict: A fun film, but nothing more than that.

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#49: Killer Klowns from Outer Space

November 19, 2009

So some colleagues of mine were talking about this crazy movie at work, at it sounded like a barrel of laughs, so I figured I should probably watch it.

So what’s it about?: Killer Klowns land in their circus tent space ship and ensue ultra campy chaos.

The Good: Hahaha, this movie is HILARIOUS!  A little on the creepy side, especially if you have a clown phobia, but honestly how scary are clowns that wrap you up in cotton candy and drink you through a crazy straw?  Really, though, this movie is a golden B horror flick.  And bonus points for a kick ass theme song.

The Bad: Well, the script and the acting are pretty laughable, but honestly that’s part of the fun!

The Verdict: It’s the Snakes on a Plane of the 80s, only better.

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#48: Fantastic Mr. Fox

November 17, 2009

So what’s it about?: A family of foxes move in to a new tree, piss off the neighbors and ensue further chaos.

The Good: OMG, coolest stop motion animation movie ever, and this is coming from a huge fan of Wallace & Gromit shorts.  But the stop-motion in Fox blew any previous attempts out of the water.  It is just so cool.  And if you’re a Wes Anderson film, well, he does not disappoint.  In fact, if Wallace & Gromit grew hair and remade The Royal Tenenbaums it would be this movie.  And the story is not too shabby itself, though a bit all over the place.

The Bad: Um… while I know I would have loved this movie as a child, I also read Jane EyreLittle Women and a biography of William Shakespeare all before my eleventh birthday, so I’m not really a good indicator of what kids like.  But I can tell you that most children will probably get bored.  It’s just a really smart, witty movie that might go unappreciated among the younger audience members, but, hey, in a era of fart jokes and bratty ingenues, this may be just the film children need!

The Verdict: A must see for any fan of Wes Anderson, cool animation, and just fun-to-watch films!

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#47: Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

November 16, 2009

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So what’s it about?: A young girl is pregnant with her second child by her father, lives with monster of a mother, and lives a life where chaos ensues every second.

The Good: This film is freaking amazing.  The acting is awesome, the script is perfect, the cinematography is really cool.  Hand an Oscar to the make-up artist now.  And while your at it, give one to Mo’Nique as well, because anybody who can play the most horrible character ever written deserves one.  Gabourey Sidibe?  Where the hell did they find this chick.  She’s amazing!  And, thankfully, there are some great moments of comedy strewn in to this horror fest.  And frankly this is a movie that needed to be made.  Because, even though based on an entirely fictional novel, it is probably one of the most real feeling movies I’ve seen, even more so than movies based on actual events (like Schindler’s List and Taking Woodstock).

The Bad: It is really, really, really hard to watch.  This is the only movie I’ve ever seen that was labeled horror that had people screaming in the audience.  There were times I wanted to walk out and just curl up in a corner somewhere it was just so grueling.  And the title is a little pretentious (but, don’t worry, the film is not).

The Verdict: You HAVE to go see it.  ‘Nuff said.